J.P. Morgan Chase & Co reported quarterly results today.

Their profit is up 47%.

How many dollars is that?

$4,800,000,000

That’s 4.8 billion dollars. Billion with a B. Profit. In 91 days.

I’ll do the math for you.

J.P. Morgan Chase made $52,747,252 *in profit* EVERY SINGLE DAY during the 4th quarter of 2010. That includes the days they were closed for business.

Fifty two million dollars a day profit. Ponder that.

These earnings were reported on MarketWatch at 12:29pm EST today. Five hours and seven minutes later, MarketWatch ran another article, Foreclosure process a ”˜mess,” J.P. Morgan CEO says.

In that article it is reported that on a call with analysts, J.P. Morgan Chase & Co, Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon said the foreclosure situation, “is a big mess, it has cost us a lot of money.”

Well boo freaking hoo. Cry me a river pal. Your company made FIFTY TWO MILLION DOLLARS A DAY; it’s pretty hard to feel bad for you.

I’d love for Mr. Dimon to list a Chase short sale and have to deal with his own loss mitigation department. If he’s whining about spending money when he’s earning almost $5 billion a quarter then I suspect he’d put a bullet in his head after a 5 minute discussion with a Chase loss mitigation officer. Assuming of course he could get the guy to even answer the phone.

Here’s an idea for you Mr. Jamie Dimon ”“ spend some of that billions in profit and fix your lousy short sale process. Hire some staff, preferably ones with at least a modicum of intelligence. Help us actually CLOSE some short sales and you won’t have so many foreclosures to cry about.

Remember that $1,200 extra you wanted from our client in order to approve their short sale? They couldn’t pay that so you wound up foreclosing on them. That $1,200 amounted to 0.002% of your profit for ONE DAY.

Of course you don’t remember, because you don’t give a crap.

I’m sorry your bank only made $52,746,052 in profit that day.

Moron.

UPDATE: In an odd twist of timing, two other Thompson’s Realty agents also penned posts today about banks. Great reads here: Heather Barr writes, Not paying your mortgage? Don’t worry, banks making money off you anyhow, and Elizabeth Newlin writes, Getting Inside the Head of The Bank.

UPDATE#2 (Jan 17): Chase was profiled on the Today show this morning for overcharging military families and wrongly foreclosing on some of them. Nice of them to pry loose $2M to reimburse the overcharges, but what about the 14 families they wrongly kicked to the street?

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Hat tip to Shar Rundio for the earnings and Dru Bloomfield for the Today show clip.

Photo Credit: epicharmus on Flickr. CC Licensed.