Things I Do Not Need

Dear Sir/Madam

Forgive me my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing you through this medium.

I am Mr. Jay Thompson, the son of Jim Thompson, who is not a late Commandant of the rebel faction in Republic of Congo, but rather a living breathing retired US Army Chaplain.

I am not residing in Ghana for asylum due to my step mother’s attempt to assassinate me, but rather I am residing in Phoenix because it is the fourth of November and supposed to be 91 degrees, sunny and clear today.

My intention for contacting you is not to invest part of my father’s finances, in your Country under your custody and full management. I am sorry I can not offer you the sum of USD$15,000,000.

But I can share a few things with you that I do not need. Now, or ever. I would be most gracious if kindly you would stop emailing me about:

Viagra
“Luxury watches”
Cheap software
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
A bigger penis
Another winning ticket in the European lottery
Stock tips
Canadian pharmacy information
Large firm breasts

So stuff that in your bank vault in Ghana. I do hope to have your understanding towards this proposal.

[tags]spam sucks[/tags]